Of Expectations and Truth
by Oni queen
Summary: Severus Snape makes a mistake, or at least he thinks he does. Severus Snape also makes several bad decisions that may or may not ruin his life and the life of the man who loves him. SSHP Snarry


Of Expectations and Truth

I don't own anything, Except for a copy of Severus Clothes which I wear for kicks.

_Maybe I should have done something last night. _

Content.

He had forgotten this feeling; the feeling of being woken up to loving caresses and simple pleasures. It must've been at least near ten or seven years since he last woke up like this. Maybe that was the reason why he didn't refuse or stop what happened.

Severus Snape awoke in his bed. Memories of last night were foggy, at best. There was an argument, crying, then soft, stroking hands and lips. He has made love with Harry Potter. No… It wasn't quite love … a mistake?

At 37 years old, he did, at best, what any dry spell would do to a man. He had always thought of himself as unattractive. It did not help when a beautiful young man claims to love you and takes you. How could he have ever have objected?

Severus turned his head to look at his bed mate. Harry's arms were still wrapped around his body, almost afraid to let go of Severus. Harry, still asleep, had a smile across his face that would put the sun to shame it almost glowed. Severus compared this beauty to Greek gods. His skin was as golden and fair as his mothers, and while his glasses were sitting on the bedside table he could not see James Potter anymore. Just a devote young man who wanted to love the Potion's Master.

No, He would not allow it. He was weak last night, if on any other night that had happened he never would have done something so foolish. And Harry had said he loved him, he never should allow something like that to happen. Harry was only 17 with a future ahead of him, and he was basically a forty year old potions master of Hogwarts. He was the Boys teacher, and he was a student in his last year. If any one found out, he would be blamed. Blamed for tainting their precious golden boy. Blamed and exiled. But he felt he deserved it, he had acted unlike himself last night, for some reason when he was with Harry it felt like his youth returned to him. And it made him feel sick, like he was a old disgusting pedophile corrupting a child, and that's what he felt like, he felt he corrupted Harry Potter.

Movement, the arms holding Severus loosened. And Harry's emerald green eyes opened. "Good Morning." Harry said with a grin. Severus looked at him trying to put on his patented sneer. But seeing the look of pure bliss in Harry's eyes made him almost want to bend over and kiss him and repeat the act which they did last night. But no, he was not worthy of the boy. Harry was young and confused about his emotions, and obviously still had a lot to learn. Yes that was it. He would push him away.

Severus turned away and managed to remove the arms that Harry had wrapped around him and positioned his legs over his bed and sat on his bed and looked for his clothes.

"Severus? What? What's wrong?" Harry looked at him confused.

"Get Dressed." Severus said as he put his pants on and searched for his shirt.

"No, Tell me. Wh..Whats wrong?" Harry reached and grabbed his arm. Severus flinched away from the touch.

"Get dressed and get out." Severus said in a cool monotone voice, not facing him.

"No! Not till you tell me what's wrong." Harry said sitting up on the bed, holding the sheets tight. Why was Severus acting this way? Did he do something wrong last night?  
He had been in love with his potions professor for almost a year and a half, and it took half a year for him to finally talk to him civilly. Last night he came down to talk to him about a personal matter.

"Just get dressed." Severus moved around his bedroom, he found Harry's shirt and tossed it at him. "This was a mistake."

"What? No!" Harry nearly shouted and moved off the bed to Severus and tried to embrace him. "No no no no no no." Harry said. "Never, I love you. Sev if it's about me then I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"Do you even know what your Apologising for Mr. Potter?" Severus looked at him coldly and pushed him away. "You are a teenage boy. You don't know what you want." Severus moved to the other side of the room and picked up Harry's pants and tossed them to him.

"But I do! I want you! Can't you realize that? You have to feel it too or else you never would have gone along with it!" Harry continued to follow Severus who continually push him away.

"Mr. Potter! Please stop pestering me!" Severus looked at Harry, that cold hateful teacher once more. "Even if you think you want me now it will change. You are young, it is only natural for a child to find something you want but can't have, only to and pursue it to no ends." Severus took a few more steps away from the boy, trying to continue find reasons how they would never work, but maybe he was trying to convince himself. "Like taking a toy away from a toddler to only have him whine, and sniffle until he finally gets it back, only to forget it ten minutes later! And I will not be used like that!" Harry looked away hurt. His expression almost saying 'is that what you think of me?'

"And as for, not objecting last night, it was because you caught me in a weak state. But understand me. If you had come to me on any other night I would not have gone along with it. Now get dressed and return to your dorms or I will start taking off points for pestering a teacher."

Harry looked away, he was sure he was crying now. Why was Severus saying such things? Why would they do those things to him and simply say it was a mistake?

"Yes Professor." Harry simply said, stifling a sob.

Severus turned to leave the bedroom for Harry to change into his clothes; His heart throbbed in pain and guilt for causing such a wonderful creature to hurt so. No, Harry was young, he would move on with his life, He would probably forget about Severus quickly and find some one else. Harry changed quickly, forgetting his tie and quickly putting his black school robes on. Severus opened the door for Harry to leave.

"But please! Sir! Understand, I may just be a foolish child. But I know that deep inside you must have felt something too." Harry said in on last-ditch effort for his teacher's affection.

"Good Day, Mr. Potter." Severus said he pointed out of his door. Harry sunk his head and ran out, tears flowing down his face freely.  
Severus kept telling himself he had to do it.

Hah!

This is my first ever Slash fiction I ever wrote! Well not the first, just the first I feel I should share with people, then maybe I could be able to get some inspiration to finish it. I started to write this fiction because of a dream I had that was based on a lot of cold pizza, Dr.Pepper, and lots of Mpreg fictions. But this is just the first chapter, If I like how people review, and see if they want the story to have Mpreg or not, because I can scrap the whole idea of it being in there and just figure out some other way to continue it, I just need a lot of Pepperoni Pizza, Dr.Pepper, Fan fictions and sleep.

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Anyway, I just want to say thank to all you wonderful Snarry Writers out there, you make some part of my life feel whole. (In that way.) And if I could speak Japanese, I would also like to thank those Sune/Hari fans out there, you all are awesome and all your art inspires me.

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I also want to thank my Friend Kara, my Slash fiend of a evil twin. Who helped me proof read it.

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